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Princess Lianne of Conte

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(2 dancers | dance with me)

[13 Sep 2005|09:41pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Goddess bless, Aly's had her children.

Children. There's three! Triplets.

This has, of course, instilled the wish to do *something* in me. Mostly being I want to *visit* her and *see* the darlings and everything that I thought I'd do were it Kally.

I can just hear Liam telling me children are hardly darlings, or whatever he would come up with. Well, I can't particularly help thinking that way. I think I was far too exposed to the trickery of children as a child to be much bothered by it now. So it's mostly his fault.

Oh, bother. I can't even think right. I just get myself calmed down and then I go and get worked up over something else.

I suppose I'll add this to my list of things to speak to my parents about. I should be able to visit the Copper Isles in a few years, most likely after I visit Kally.

Allowing, of course, for diplomatic difficulties and military difficulties and just about everything else.

So, I have begun to sew. As long as I am going to be surrounded by cloth, I may as well do something that keeps me occupied.

Liam would most likely give up on me, were he to learn I were sewing children's clothes.

If he hasn't already, that is. I'm not entirely sure. I think I'm far too emotional and female to have him be completely at ease with me.

Not that it matters, but things were much easier when we were children.

(2 dancers | dance with me)

[05 Sep 2005|11:55am]
[ mood | busy ]

Eleanor wearies of this place, I think, although I cannot see myself leaving any time soon. Marielle seems quite pleased with my knowledge on running households (though I must admit that has grown since she had me help her; my teachers were wonderful at what they did but would hardly think to put me to practical use. Before I only knew the theory, if one could call it that) and has proven herself to be a wonderful rider. She has asked me to teach her a few of the tricks mama taught me. (I, of course, agreed most readily; I have spent far too much time out of the saddle since Eleanor was assigned me).

It appears that Thom is beginning the process of tearing himself from the holds of the Mithran libraries...I cannot say that I am displeased, although I'm not quite certain how long the process will take. For now it's quite possible that he will reach me before Uncle Raoul and Alan do. Along with the Lady Maura, of course. Uncle Raoul tends to be called off on buisness quite a bit, short detours...and father may take advantage of the chance to speak with Lady Maura personally about her state of affairs...

That is, of course, if he finds the time to do so. The messages I have gotten from him are becoming shorter and shorter...

(dance with me)

[31 Jul 2005|08:51am]
[ mood | content ]

I cannot quite believe it, but at last Eleanor has decided that the heat has become unbearable enough (which I had decided quite some time before now) to finally allow me to open my trunk and unpack the summer gowns. I believe once, when I was younger, I attempted to persuade mother as to why *all* my gowns should be cotton. I do not quite recall what she said, but I do believe she laughed.

No matter; for the first time in several weeks I am in something that is not terribly hot and uncomfortable, so I shall be pleased with the fact. Given, I find certain other fashions and clothes infinitely preferable, but considering what I have been granted and the alternative, I shall be content.

I'm not entirely certain why I'm writing about a change of wardrobe, but I've heard nothing from anyone but Aunt Eleni and father (through the required checking-ins through the mage sent along with me) and I suppose I am missing everything that is not about, in a very general, bored sense.

Boredom is quite inescapable; I know I have enough to keep me occupied, but I have thought for quite some time, and whatever comes, I shall be fine. The waiting for it to happen irks me, but I suppose that is only to be expected. I suppose it's rather odd for me to be bored while waiting for the future I dread and welcome to come, but once I've accepted something it becomes slightly easier to bear.

I am partly wishing I were with Kally, in Carthak, because the fashions there are somewhat cooler, but I am then reminded by the other part of me that this is because it is much hotter there then it is here, and she is quite loaded down with enough jewelry to make the fact stick.

Although I suppose I can stop worrying quite so much about that by remembering that Kally is far more resistant to temperature then I am. I don't believe I got is from father or mother, but I'm either hot or cold and rarely inbetween.

Liam, of course, uses this to his advantage, whatever it may be at that particular moment.

Best to be off; Eleanor has something or other for me to do today.

(2 dancers | dance with me)

[18 Jul 2005|09:59pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

Life has gone into a flurry of...well, linens. Marielle (I am no longer permitted to term her 'Lady') has taken on my assistance (and Eleanor's) on in her endeavors to ready this place for Uncle Raoul and his men. It is quite true that this will not happen for some time yet, but according to both Marielle and the governesses I am no longer subjected to, preperation is never a thing to be taken lightly. I have always been somewhat inclined to agree.

Only I cannot for the life of me figure out how half the contents of a linen closet are there one day and gone the next. Linens, I am now quite convinced, shall someday prove the death of me. Or my ineptitude at finding them shall be. It should not be so difficult to carry out so simple a task. I wish very much I could stop all the chaos in my mind and find the peace that was once there, and then perhaps I could find within me the simple, godscurst ability to return to Marielle the numbers of all the closets' contents.

I make too much of too little, as Liam would be quick to tell me. Although Liam is not a person I could deal with at this moment nor any in the foreseeable future. The longing for Kally is once again alive; she can make sense of the senseless. Or she can make sense of my nonsense, which is within itself the important thing. Liam and Jasson seem to think me far calmer then I ever feel; they think me filled with good sense and advice and something completely immovable that I so dearly wish I could posses.

I do not know what use any of those are. Good sense I may sometimes have, but I rarely seem to use it, and advice from someone such as I is...nonsense! And I am hardly immovable. I want so badly to just go...somewhere else. Naxen or...or someplace that is not here. I wish I could be as adept at movement as my cousins are, but the fact of the matter is, I shall never be able to move with ease about the world, and I shall certaintly never find any way to avoid half the kingdom.

I am not entirely certain what should be said of my trying.

It shall all turn out alright. Linen problems are quite easy to mend. I'm being perfectly silly, and worse, I *know* it. And I haven't even an excuse. Please, spare me analyzations, Kally; I think I'd prefer to not think on why I am allowing the most ridiculous matter in the world to aggravate me. I really must speak to father about a future visit (incredibly far-off as it may be) to Carthak, when I am once again in Corus.

Of course, I suppose by then I shall have some entirely different set of worries, but thinking of it makes me feel calmer. Or less inclined to fits of panic, at any rate. I find my list of confidantes has grown...extremely short. Well, short for some topics and long for others. Linens, for example, I speak about with nearly anyone who would listen.

Well, no, I don't speak of linens, I mean that I *could*. ...Otherwise I would no doubt be even less sought-after as a conversational companion as it is. I am normally sought after as a listening companion.

It has just occured to me that Eleanor may have taken it upon herself to begin distribution of the linens. I do wish I reached such logical conclusions *before* I go silly. It would no doubt save me quite a bit of emotional distress.

I suppose the most I can do is hope Liam does not discover I have gotten emotional over linens. The very last thing I need is my elder brother come to 'save' me, or something equally rash. It would not at all help my sanity, of a surety. Whenever Liam takes cause to worry about me where there is none...

(2 dancers | dance with me)

[30 Jun 2005|09:07pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Lord Imrah has been back for a while now, but now Lady Marielle has taken full advantage of the fact and left him to deal with day-to-day affairs for a bit.

I am, somewhat shockingly (to Eleanor), the cause. Lady Marielle was asking me of my mother; what she'd taught me, more particularly. Apparently Lady Marielle was interested in a shooting partner for archery. I did not, at the time, realize this, so I had no particular qualms in telling her what my lady mother required of her daughters. I have never gone so far as to allow myself to be persuaded to join mother in her morning glaive practice with Shinko, as...well, I'm not particularly fond of weapons in general. I still haven't ever hit anything living with a bow, which was the only weapon Mother and Aunt Buri prevailed upon me to learn.

I'm somewhat in awe of Lady Marielle. She is a rather...persuasive? forceful? woman. She not only got Eleanor to half-approve, she dragged me from the library to see what I knew.

Apparently, there is more that I *could* know.

I'm not quite sure whether or not to take that as a threat. I probably should. As long as Lady Marielle is amused, I suppose I don't mind. So long as I'm not made to try and hunt or otherwise hit a living target, it doesn't quite bother me. Just hurts my arms. I suppose mother would tell me this means I am far too out of practice. She would then proceed to drag me away from whatever I was doing and make me practice.

I must admit to being somewhat more interested in practicing riding, but once when I told her as much she got on me about shooting from a saddle. I decided it would be best not to share any thoughts on what I would rather be doing with my mother.

At least she would be pleased, I suppose. I think she would be rather more amused, actually. I'm half the country away and I still can't manage to get out of such things in favor of reading.

(3 dancers | dance with me)

[28 Jun 2005|04:58pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

I am completely devoted to my task. Which is, of course, to behave myself. Properly. And this time I won't go do something silly.

Admittedly, there is not much chance of me doing anything at the moment, beyond writing in this when Eleanor leaves the room or trying not to completely ruin the cloth I'm supposed to be mending. I'm not terrible, but I'm not really good, either. I suppose you learn to muddle through it after being left in a room with a governess for most of your childhood.

Kally has less patience then I do for sewing, though, so I suppose I should just be grateful that I'm able to bear it better. It would be terrible to sit here staring at the pile of cloth and wanting to be somewhere else entirely. Even if I do wish to be doing something else, I don't quite mind doing the 'chores' Eleanor assigned me. Minding would just make it that much worse. Lady Marielle is less than patient with sewing, and the maids seem pleased that I'm here. Even if I do stop every now and then to scribble away or read.

I shall simply make the best of it. No one minds if I don't say much, and I like listening to the others speak. It's a calming sort of thing, one that doesn't quite need sense.

Eleanor is more or less pleased with me again. I am not certain what I think of that, but I am certaintly happier when she is speaking to me. I don't quite like making her worry or fuss, even if it seems to happen inevitably.

I spent a great deal of yesterday looking at my collection of seashells and rocks. Possibly not the most *interesting* thing to be doing, but it makes me happy to do such things, and thus I do them. I am not entirely certain what to do with them now. I have many back in my rooms at the capital, as I only ever collect a few, but normally I would give one or two to one of my siblings or cousins.

I was debating sending one to Kally in my next letter, but...well, I'm just not entirely certain if it would be silly to send a seashell to an empress. I shall probably do it anyways. I sent a few to Liam, after all, and that was most certaintly silly. But then, he should be quite used to such silliness from me. I haven't given up things like that, and probably never shall. It seems more ridiculous to give up something so pleasant and harmless simply because I am older then I once was.

Apparently I am to look forward to seeing Uncle Raoul and Aunt Buri and whomever they are dragging with them at the moment? I am not certain whether to be flattered or concerned. Perhaps it shall be both.

Father will be pleased, at any rate. I expect the messengers had an easier time, with Uncle Raoul staying in one place for such a while. (I must admit to some disappointment. It is perhaps not entirely becoming, but I do like seeing how long you can avoid them.)

(2 dancers | dance with me)

[24 Jun 2005|05:48pm]
[ mood | cold ]

(screened from parents)

Goddess, I almost wish Eleanor would screech at me for something. It's too silent. No...that's not quite right. There is noise here. I can hear Legann going about it's buisness, and I know that there is movement and life all about me, but in this room it is as if all else has been closed off, as if I sit suspended in a moment that never began.

I suppose I'm just being odd again. I don't know why I have suddenly gone and gotten dramatic. I've never been one to display dramatics, even if I do worry quite a lot. I watch them. It is very hard to believe I have any K'miri blood in me, sometimes. Unless, perhaps, there are K'mir who are more alike to rabbits then horses? In the stories mother told Liam and Jasson and me, when we were younger, the K'mir always had spirit beyond that which I have. I cannot force myself to do anything but watch, and my world can be so easily broken.

I suppose I should just be very thankful that those I care for are happy and I am not being paid any extra attention by the gods. Or the court. Which Liam says are just as troublesome (and makes me worry about him even more).

Lady Marielle is a lively woman, and very...spirited? She sometimes seems to be everywhere at once! She meets with villagers and the castle-folk and visitors every day. I sat in on these meetings the first two days, before she told me I was far too young to be sitting there growing older by the second.

I did like going to the meetings, but I had been wanting to go down to the shore, when I wanted to do anything at all. Eleanor has, of course, decreed that I am not allowed to swim, which I did not contesting as much as I would have. It just didn't matter very much. She does tend to know what is proper, and I think that father would probably appreciate me being proper. I would like to retain my (limited and easily revoked) right of travel. I do try. I really, really do.

So what I have been doing is walking about on the beach and wading as far in as I can without the guards getting finicky. Whatever I find that catches my eye, I bring back. Lady Marielle introduced me to once of the scholars who is staying with them, studying the surrounding habitats, and he (Ferdi) explains what the shells or bits of rock or plant are or were. He's several times older then father, but he's very nice.

I suppose I am amazed that the shells survived the waves, silly as it is. I hope that if I have any sort of strength, it is as lasting as that.

Eleanor has not spoken to me for at least two hours, and I have been confined to my quarters until she feels better about me. Normally this would bother me more then it does. I just can't quite bring myself to feel as terrible as I normally would that I went and did something perfectly improper.

I have never done anything quite *so* improper, either. For some reason I just felt like it was the only thing in the world to do. I have no idea why, but it seemed like a good idea. I had planned to do nothing more then walk like I have every other morning since Lady Marielle gave me leave, but I just stopped and looked out across the ocean, and my plans changed quite without telling me.

It is not that I don't know how to swim. That is why Eleanor felt she actually needed to forbid it. I learned when I was little, visiting Aunt Alanna and Uncle George with Liam and Jasson. It is simply not proper for a lady over the age of...well, whatever the age is, I am apparently quite over it.

But I just wanted to be somewhere else entirely, and the water was another world, so I went in. I didn't go in far enough that my skirts would drown me or anything, just enough so I could be in the water.

I sometimes wonder *why* the improper things I do are so odd. I think Eleanor may have felt better if I had gone and kissed someone, rather then completely ruined one of my gowns and behaved badly in front of several people beyond my guards. As one of the guards was speaking to a castle maid who had come to give us something someone had forgotten or somesuch.

Perhaps it is best I will not be connected to any lines of gossip. I do not want to hear if anyone will remark on my behavior.

I don't know how to remark on my behavior. Perhaps it is best I'm to stay in my rooms. If I keep to my books and my thoughts, and do nothing more then is required of me, certaintly I can do nothing too terribly odd?

(end screen)

(dance with me)

[24 Jun 2005|04:29pm]
[ mood | content ]

(Screened for Alan only)

Read more...Collapse )</lj-cut text="(Screened for Alan, only)>

(dance with me)

[20 Jun 2005|10:23pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

We have reached Legann more or less in one peice, although I am suitably depressed about my ability to not slow down my guards. I did only passably well. I need to ride farther out more often.

Eleanor is less than pleased with me. Since our arrival last night I have spent far too much time in my room and far too little time resting. I have not eaten enough, and I have not spoken enough, and I need to smile more often. This, of course, was all conveyed to me in a less-then-pleasant manner, and I am attempting to compensate for my perceived flaws-of-the-day. I am hoping tomorrow she will mourn something easier, such as my embroidery skills or knowledge upon my bows to those of a stature seven times greater then my own. Or something.

They are much easier to make right.

Lord Imrah is currently off checking on the conditions of a village to the east, and Lady Marielle is more then pleased to have my company. Which, I must add, she does not find lacking.

Although it is tempting to lock myself away in my room. There is a balcony from which I can see most everything in sight. I am simply too well brought up to do so. Or I am attempting to behave as such. I shall let you know when I discover which it is.

(dance with me)

[14 Jun 2005|05:25pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

I hadn't thought of this before, but Eleanor was most likely chosen as my chaperone for more then the idea that I needed one. I realized she knew how to ride (still shocked) but I did not realize she was able to ride for long stretches of time. Day after day. It was rather silly of me to assume otherwise. I must really stop assuming things.

Poppy just got me to give her my apple, so I think I should go and find another. I wonder if it's a bad sign when one constantly gives in to one's mount?

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